living an "oil-in-water" or water based lifestyle

so i was reading thru some of my books on spirituality when i thought of something that makes total sense to me...

we all know that life has its ups and downs... some of it is karma and some of it is inevitable. we want to be happy people but the idea that life is perfect is unrealistic.

so i thought to myself: if we know that life is not all roses, then y do we get so incredibly upset when things go wrong? not everything will go our way... and when it doesn't, we feel like the world is collapsing on us and that god hates us and that we're gonna be lonely the rest of our lives, or broke the rest of our lives, or in pain the rest of our lives...

anyway... i figured out something that helps me cope with the down times in my life...
its my "oil-in-water" theory:

here we go ;)
most cosmetic products are either water based or oil based...

water based: is when a product contains mostly water w small drops of oil
(also called oil-in-water)
oil based: is when a product contains mostly oil w small drops of water
(also called water-in-oil)

i decided to apply this idea to life... let's say that:
~ pure water represents "pure happiness"
~ icky oil represents "sadness"

living an oil based life is allowing for a lot of sadness with very little happiness
and living a water based life is allowing for a lot of happiness with very little sadness...

i like living my oil-in-water lifestyle because i know that when something horrible is happening to me, its only a small drop in the big picture of my life... i want to be a sincerely happy person but i need to be realistic about how life works... there will always be ups and downs... the goal is to have more ups than downs... the goal is to live a water based life or happiness based life...

that seems like a mouthful, lol... let me know if it doesn't make sense... i'll try to break it down even more =)


  1. I definately love the positve state of mind that try to keep yourself in. Unfortunately there are many people out there who suffer from depression or bipolar syndrome. I'm not so certain that your oil-in-water thought process is something that they can so easily apply to their lives.

    I happen to be very close to a few people who suffer from both those ailments. We can be enjoying a normal day and then all of the sudden things just spiral out of control. They have trouble looking at the bigger picture. Instead they are stuck living in whatever emotion their condition places them in at that time.

  2. i think the number of people who don't suffer from those ailments outnumber the people who do... but of course i'm not saying this state of mind would work for clinical depression and those who are bi-polar... i understand that sometimes only professional help and meds can make people w extreme emotional problems better...

    but u have the people who let every little thing get to them... people who are too sensitive and people who feel that being miserable is needed to tap into their artistic selves... most of the time happiness is a choice... its all about perception... being in customer service for so long, it has become something i see regularly... u have the people who's hotel room is not ready on time and they flip out... then u have other people who's rooms may not be ready on time, but they see it as a perfect opportunity to check out the hotel before settling in... PERCEPTION... so key

    i'm not naive, but i do know that people enjoy drama... whether they admit to it or not

  3. my father passed away and i didn't go into a depression... instead i took the time to understand my own ideas of life and death...

    i get my heart broken and i take the time to figure out why so that it doesn't happen again

    i don't get hired at the job i want, but i know that it just means i'm one "no" closer to my "yes"...

    u can choose to spend your short time on this earth miserable... or u can choose to be happy... i take the time i need to be sad, but i don't let people or events that are out of my control define me

  4. While I do admire your positive outlook on life I must say I disagree with you on one particular matter. Happiness is an emotion and that feeling is something You cannot simply decide to be. You cannot control that feeling no more than you can control being in love. I think its possible to choose not to dwell on the negatives but that can even be a difficult task for some.

    I do think that there are a lot of people who as you said love drama. Though there are many people who are psychologically drawn to situations that are unhealthy for them. One example being children of couples who deal with domestic violence. We often find comfort in enviornments similar to the ones we were raised in. Reguardless of how harsh they were.

    I love the fact that you are able to leave the tough times behind. That is part of the reason I admire you so much.

  5. we might have to agree to disagree on this one... someone who stays in abusive relationships after being raised in one is a person who lacks self confidence... if they took the steps to regain their confidence there's no way in hell they let someone lay a hand on them or that they, themselves would abusive a loved one... of course this is mental illness aside...

    no, u can't decide who you're in love w... but if things don't work out then u can make the choice to move on... i'm in love w someone but i dont think it's gonna work out... while i'll never stop loving that person, i know that in order to be a happier person i've got to move on and not let that person define who i am or dictate my next move...

    and a lot of times we think we're head over heels in love and only realize in hindsight that, while we may have had love for that person or even believed we were in love at some point, we are no longer in love or realize it was infatuation...

    things always seem terrible while you're in the midst of it... i had a friend in bed for 6 months after a break up... i got her outta bed and while i think she still loves that guy, she's now mentally available to meet new ppl

    i'm not an optimist... i'm a realist... i only believe the things i do because of personal experience and from the experiences of those close to me... there are common traits in everything that people go thru

  6. I wouldn't say we have to agree to disagree. I am on board with most everything your saying. I just don't think its as easy as making a decision to simply just be happy.

    What's up with this whole you being in love thing though? Please tell me that was a long series of typos. }:o)

  7. I'm gonna keep this in mind. I must say it's hard to make the decision to be happy when you've been living your entire post-childhood life under a cloud of negativity. Very hard. Fear of the unknown is very real and negativity can be comforting, ironically.


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